Let it go

Why can’t I let it go? Why do I dwell on what other people say and do? Why do I start a blog to try to explain how other people are keeping me from being my true self?

I know someone who doesn’t care about what other people think and he seems pretty happy. However, some people would say that he needs to care more about some things in order to to take better care of them.

I read an article about finding your true self which said that one thing to do is to forgive, forgive, forgive. How can I forgive and let it go if it wounds me to the core of my heart? How can I let go an argument with my husband and act like nothing has happened? Wont that reinforce his bad behavior and make him think he can act like that again?

I have been trying to take the first step of letting go of things that are outside of my power, but honestly things go better when I step in. If I watch someone at work make a mistake because it’s not my responsibility, I often get called in to fix it. Should I really keep my mouth shut when my husband is about to hit another car? Should I not warn my mother when my brother or sister are about to do something stupid?

On the flip side, I feel like I am constantly judged for what I say and do and act. That’s one reason why I am so withdrawn. When I put myself out there and put down my guard, I get accused of saying something wrong.  If I am supposed to let it go, other people should let it go too (before using it against me first).

I’ve heard that you need to be vulnerable to truly feel love. My therapist was so pleased when I was vulnerable one time. Then my husband used it against me. I can’t be vulnerable, if I can’t forgive and let it go. It hurts too much.

I really don’t know how to let it go. I will have to keep working on that one.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s